The Life of
Henry the Fifth
Or Something Near Enough
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
| HENRY V | A multilingual |
| EXETER | An Italophone |
| WARWICK | A Francophone |
| WESTMORELAND | A very Swiss Germanophone |
| CANTERBURY | A Germanophone who can impress in other languages when needed |
| ELY | A Francophone |
| The AMBASSADOR | An Anglophone who has to speak other languages as part of his job |
| KATHARINE | An Anglophone eager to learn |
| ALICE | A multilingual eager to teach |
ACT I
SCENE I
The capital city. A building where people decide things. While wearing suits.
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Enter the CANTERBURY [High German] Ich sage Ihnen: Der Gesetzentwurf Den wir in der letzten Legislatur Nur dank der Unruh, Angst und Turbulenz Die damals herrschten, knapp verhindern konnten – Dieses Gesetz bedroht uns nun schon wieder. ELY [French] Mais comment, pensez-vous, y résister à présent? CANTERBURY [High German]
ELY [French]
ELY [French]
CANTERBURY [High German] Nun, das Staatsoberhaupt ist uns geneigt. ELY [French]
CANTERBURY [High German] Hört man, wie er Moral und Pflicht erklärt, So wünscht man sich im Innern, voll Bewundrung Dass er ein hoher Priester werden sollte. ELY (French) Ecoutez-le débattre des affaires de l’Etat, Vous diriez qu’elles ont toujours été toute son étude. CANTERBURY (High German) In seinen Reden über Krieg und Waffen Hört man die Schlachten als Musik erklingen. ELY (French) Orientez-le sur n’importe quel sujet politique, Et il en dénouera le nœud gordien Aussi facilement qu’une jarretière CANTERBURY (High German) Und wenn er spricht Hält selbst die Luft in ihrem Treiben inne, Und stummes Staunen steckt in allen Ohren, Um was er sagt wie Honig aufzusaugen.
ELY [French] Mais, mon bon seigneur, Comment faire pour édulcorer ce projet de loi?
CANTERBURY [High German]
ELY [French] Et comment cette offre fut-elle reçue ? CANTERBURY [High German]
ELY [French]
CANTERBURY [High German] Der Botschafter wollte gerade dann
ELY [French] Oui. CANTERBURY [High German] Dann wollen wir mal hören was er will; ELY [French] Je vous suis, il me tarde de l’entendre. Exeunt |
Enter the ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY, and the BISHOP OF ELY CANTERBURY My lord, I'll tell you; that self bill is urged, Did push it out of farther question. ELY But how, my lord, shall we resist it now? CANTERBURY It must be thought on. If it pass against us, By testament have given to the church A hundred almshouses right well supplied; ELY This would drink deep. CANTERBURY 'Twould drink the cup and all. ELY But what prevention? CANTERBURY The king is full of grace and fair regard. ELY And a true lover of the holy church. CANTERBURY The courses of his youth promised it not.
ELY We are blessed in the change. CANTERBURY Hear him but reason in divinity, You would desire the king were made a prelate:
Turn him to any cause of policy, Familiar as his garter. That, when he speaks, The air, a charter'd libertine, is still, His hours fill'd up with riots, banquets, sports, From open haunts and popularity. ELY The strawberry grows underneath the nettle Neighbour'd by fruit of baser quality: CANTERBURY It must be so; for miracles are ceased; And therefore we must needs admit the means ELY But, my good lord, Urged by the commons? Doth his majesty CANTERBURY He seems indifferent, ELY How did this offer seem received, my lord? CANTERBURY With good acceptance of his majesty;
As I perceived his grace would fain have done, ELY What was the impediment that broke this off? CANTERBURY The French ambassador upon that instant ELY It is. CANTERBURY Then go we in, to know his embassy; ELY I'll wait upon you, and I long to hear it. Exeunt |
SCENE II
The same. The presence chamber.
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Enter KING HENRY V, KING HENRY V [Swiss German] Wo isch de itz dä Mösiö Kanter-Burri? EXETER [Italian] Not here in presence. KING HENRY V [Italian] Send for him, good uncle. WARWICK [French] Faut-il introduire l’ambassadeur? KING HENRY V [French] Pas encore, Warwick: nous voulons être éclairé, Avant de l’entendre, sur plusieurs points essentiels Touchant la politique étrangère. Enter the CANTERBURY [High German] Ich wünsche Ihnen alles Heil der Welt KING HENRY V [High German] Danke sehr.
[Reads from a Protocol]
Car jamais deux semblables armées n’ont lutté Sans grande effusion de sang, dont chaque goutte innocente Est une lamentation, un grief amer
[High German] Jetzt sind Sie eingeschworen, sprechen Sie;
CANTERBURY [High German] Sehr wohl, geehrte Heeren, meine Damen,
Den Passus, den man uns entgegenhält: 'Sit terra Salica semper sui iuris'
Die Ordnung unterwandern, wie zum Beispiel: Der Elbschifffahrtsbewilligungszugang Für Donaudampfschifffahrtsgesellschaften Ist ungeklärt
De même, Hugues Capet qui usurpa la couronne De Charles, duc de Lorraine, seul héritier mâle De l’authentique lignée et de la souche de Charlemagne, Qui voulait que la nation soit certaine, Pour donner à son titre quelque apparence de vérité, Alors qu’en vérité pure il était corrompu et nul, Se présenta comme héritier de Dame Lingare, Fille de Charles le Chauve, qui était le fils De l’empereur Louis, Louis étant le fils De Charlemagne. [High German]
[High German] Sie sollten, wie der Volksmund sagt [Swiss German] nöd laffere KING HENRY V [High German] Kann ich mit Fug und Recht Anspruch erheben? CANTERBURY [High German]
ELY [French] Réveillez le souvenir de ces morts vaillants, Et de vos bras puissants renouvelez leurs prouesses; Vous êtes leur successeur,
Mûr pour les exploits et les grandes entreprises. EXETER [Italian] Your brother kings and monarchs of the earth WESTMORELAND [Swiss High German] Wir haben einen Kriegsgrund, Macht und Mittel;
CANTERBURY [High German]
KING HENRY V [High German] Wir brauchen nicht nur für das Ausland Waffen,
CANTERBURY [High German]
KING HENRY V [High German]
WESTMORELAND [Swiss High German] Ich gebe dieses Sprichwort zu bedenken:
EXETER [High German]
CANTERBURY [High German] Genau – und deshalb kennt die Ordnung
KING HENRY V [Swiss German] Jetzt chönd ihr d’Botschafter glaub innela. Exeunt some Attendants [French] Nous voici maintenant bien résolus, et avec l’aide de Dieu, Et la vôtre, nobles soutiens de ma puissance, Ce pays étant à nous, nous la plierons à notre autorité Ou la mettrons en pièces.
Enter Ambassador [English] Now are we well prepared to know the pleasure The AMBASSADOR [English]
KING HENRY V [French]
The AMBASSADOR [French] Thus, then, in few.
Qui puisse être conquis par quelques pas d’une agile gaillarde. KING HENRY V [Italian] What treasure, uncle? EXETER [Italian] Tennis-balls, my liege. KING HENRY V [French] Nous sommes bien aise que votre ministre soit avec nous si plaisant. De son cadeau et de vos peines nous vous remercions. Quand nous aurons assorti nos raquettes à ces balles, Nous jouerons chez lui (par la grâce de Dieu) une partie Qui mettra en péril la vie de tout son pays. [English] Tell him he hath made a match with such a wrangler
Mais dites à ce facétieux monsieur que sa moquerie A changé ses balles en boulets de canon, et que son âme Portera le poids cruel de la vengeance dévastatrice Qu’ils porteront avec eux: [English]And many a thousand widows
Partez d’ici en paix; [High German] und sagt ihm auch Exit Ambassador EXETER [Italian] This was a merry message. KING HENRY V [Italian] We hope to make the sender blush at it.
Soient bientôt rassemblées,
Nous irons les tancer jusque chez eux. Exeunt. Flourish |
Enter KING HENRY V, GLOUCESTER, BEDFORD, EXETER, WARWICK, WESTMORELAND, and Attendants KING HENRY V Where is my gracious Lord of Canterbury? EXETER Not here in presence. KING HENRY V Send for him, good uncle. WESTMORELAND Shall we call in the ambassador, my liege? KING HENRY V Not yet, my cousin: we would be resolved, Before we hear him, of some things of weight Enter the ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY, and the BISHOP of ELY CANTERBURY God and his angels guard your sacred throne KING HENRY V Sure, we thank you. And justly and religiously unfold
We charge you, in the name of God, take heed; Without much fall of blood; whose guiltless drops Under this conjuration, speak, my lord; For we will hear, note and believe in heart CANTERBURY Then hear me, gracious sovereign, and you peers, To make against your highness' claim to France Between the floods of Sala and of Elbe; Which Salique, as I said, 'twixt Elbe and Sala, Was not devised for the realm of France: Nor did the French possess the Salique land Of Blithild, which was daughter to King Clothair, Hugh Capet also, who usurped the crown Of Charles the duke of Lorraine, sole heir male To find his title with some shows of truth, 'Through, in pure truth, it was corrupt and naught, That fair Queen Isabel, his grandmother, By the which marriage the line of Charles the Great To hold in right and title of the female: Than amply to imbar their crooked titles
KING HENRY V May I with right and conscience make this claim? CANTERBURY The sin upon my head, dread sovereign! Descend unto the daughter. Gracious lord, Go, my dread lord, to your great-grandsire's tomb, Whiles his most mighty father on a hill ELY Awake remembrance of these valiant dead The blood and courage that renowned them liegeIs in the very May-morn of his youth, EXETER Your brother kings and monarchs of the earth WESTMORELAND They know your grace hath cause and means and might; CANTERBURY O, let their bodies follow, my dear liege, KING HENRY V We must not only arm to invade the French,
Against the Scot, who will make road upon us CANTERBURY They of those marches, gracious sovereign, KING HENRY V We do not mean the coursing snatchers only, With ample and brim fulness of his force, CANTERBURY She hath been then more fear'd than harm'd, my liege;
With sunken wreck and sunless treasuries. WESTMORELAND But there's a saying very old and true,
EXETER It follows then the cat must stay at home: CANTERBURY True. Therefore doth heaven divide
Delivering o'er to executors pale Cannot defend our own doors from the dog,
KING HENRY V Call in the messengers sent from the Dauphin. Exeunt some Attendants Now are we well resolved; and, by God's help, Or break it all to pieces: or there we'll sit, Ruling in large and ample empery O'er France and all her almost kingly dukedoms,
Enter Ambassadors of France Now are we well prepared to know the pleasure The AMBASSADOR May't please your majesty to give us leave
KING HENRY V We are no tyrant, but a Christian king; Unto whose grace our passion is as subject Therefore with frank and with uncurbed plainness The AMBASSADOR Thus, then, in few. He therefore sends you, meeter for your spirit,
KING HENRY V What treasure, uncle? EXETER Tennis-balls, my liege. KING HENRY V We are glad the Dauphin is so pleasant with us; And therefore, living hence, did give ourself
When I do rouse me in my throne of France: For that I have laid by my majesty And plodded like a man for working-days, But I will rise there with so full a glory That I will dazzle all the eyes of France, And tell the pleasant prince this mock of his Hath turn'd his balls to gun-stones; and his soul
My rightful hand in a well-hallow'd cause.
Exeunt Ambassadors EXETER This was a merry message. KING HENRY V We hope to make the sender blush at it.
Exeunt. Flourish |
SCENE …
On a stage
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… |
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ACT III
SCENE IV
On a stage
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Enter KATHARINE and ALICE KATHARINE Alice, you’ve been to their country and you speak the language well. ALICE A little bit, madam. KATHARINE Oh I beg you: I must learn to talk. What do you call the hand in Swiss? ALICE La main, la mano, die Hand or d’Hang, and… something else I can’t remember. KATHARINE The what…? And the fingers? In one language please! ALICE The fingers? Gosh, I always forget the fingers – but I’ll remember. The fingers? I think they’re called… Die Finger; jawohl, die Finger! KATHARINE The Hand… forget it; The fingers, die Finger. I think I’m a good student; I’ve quickly mastered a word of Swiss. What do they call the nails – of the Finger? ALICE The nails? We call them die Nägel. KATHARINE Die Nägel. Listen: Tell me if I speak well: Die Finger, and die Nägel. ALICE Well said, madame – this is very good… Swiss. KATHARINE Tell me the English for arm. ALICE Arm? With a weapon? KATHARINE No! Arm! With die Finger and die Nägel! ALICE Oh… It’s “le bras”, madam. [mispronounced] KATHARINE Le bras. I’ll repeat all the words which you have taught me so far. ALICE That is too difficult, madam, I think. KATHARINE Excuse me, Alice, and listen. Erm… haand…? Die Finger, the Nägel, the bras. ALICE Brass, madame. KATHARINE Oh good Lord, I do forget! The brass. What do they call the neck? ALICE Le cou. KATHARINE Le cou. And the cheek. ALICE The joue. KATHARINE Jouir. The neck, le cul: the cheek, the jouir. ALICE Yes. If I may say so, you pronounce the words as right as the natives of Switzerland. KATHARINE I have no doubt that I’ll learn it all, and quickly. ALICE But haven’t you already forgotten what I have teached you? KATHARINE No, I’ll recite it to you immediately: The…? The Fingers, the Regel… ALICE Die Nägel, Madame. KATHARINE Die Näägel – good. Then: The bras… ALICE Excuse me: The brass. KATHARINE As I say: The brass, le cou, la jouir. Are there any more languages in Switzerland? ALICE Yes, at least two. One is Italian. KATHARINE And what do they say for head? Oh – And for clothes? ALICE Testa, madam, and vestiti. KATHARINE Testi… and Vests… tities! OMG! These words sound ugly, venal, barbarian and lewd, and are not to be used by ladies of class: I wouldn’t pronounce these words in front of important men for all the world. Nevertheless, I’ll recite my whole lesson one more time – except for the hand: Die Fingerr, die Nägel, le brass, le cou, la jouir, testa and… vestiti. ALICE Excellent, madam! KATHARINE That’s enough for now – let’s go to dinner. Exeunt |
Enter KATHARINE and ALICE KATHARINE Alice, tu as été en Angleterre, et tu parles bien le langage. ALICE Un peu, madame. KATHARINE Je te prie, m'enseignez: il faut que j'apprenne à parler. Comment appelez-vous la main en Anglois? ALICE La main? elle est appelee de hand. KATHARINE De hand. Et les doigts? ALICE Les doigts? ma foi, j'oublie les doigts; mais je me souviendrai. Les doigts? je pense qu'ils sont appeles de fingres; oui, de fingres. KATHARINE La main, de hand; les doigts, de fingres. Je pense que je suis le bon écolier; j'ai gagne deux mots d'Anglois vitement. Comment appelez-vous les ongles? ALICE Les ongles? nous les appelons de nails. KATHARINE De nails. Ecoutez; dites-moi, si je parle bien: de hand, de fingres, et de nails. ALICE C'est bien dit, madame; il est fort bon Anglois. KATHARINE Dites-moi l'Anglois pour le bras. ALICE De arm, madame. KATHARINE Le bras. Je m'en fais la repetition de tous les ALICE Il est trop difficile, madame, comme je pense. KATHARINE Excusez-moi, Alice; ecoutez: de hand, de fingres, de nails, de arma, de bilbow. ALICE De elbow, madame. KATHARINE O Seigneur Dieu, je m'en oublie! de elbow. Comment appelez-vous le col? ALICE De neck, madame. KATHARINE De nick. Et le menton? ALICE De chin. KATHARINE De sin. Le col, de nick; de menton, de sin. ALICE Oui. Sauf votre honneur, en verite, vous prononcez les mots aussi droit que les natifs d'Angleterre. KATHARINE Je ne doute point d'apprendre, par la grace de Dieu, et en peu de temps. ALICE N'avez vous pas deja oublie ce que je vous ai enseigne? KATHARINE Non, je reciterai à vous promptement: de hand, de fingres, de mails— ALICE De nails, madame. KATHARINE De nails, de arm, de ilbow. ALICE Sauf votre honneur, de elbow. KATHARINE Ainsi dis-je; de elbow, de nick, et de sin. KATHARINE Comment appelez-vous le pied et la robe? ALICE De foot, madame; et de coun. KATHARINE De foot et de coun! O Seigneur Dieu! ce sont mots de son mauvais, corruptible, gros, et impudique, et non pour les dames d'honneur d'user: je ne voudrais ALICE Excellent, madame! KATHARINE C'est assez pour une fois: allons-nous a diner. Exeunt |